Relationships can be complicated, whether it’s with a partner, ex partner or your family, but they should never be controlling or harmful – physically or emotionally
An abuser might say things like “I didn’t mean it,” or “I was having a bad day,” to try and justify their hurtful actions; you may begin to question whether your concerns about the relationship are valid. If you’ve heard these phrases, it may indicate that your relationship is unhealthy or controlling.
Another sign of an abusive relationship is if your behavior has changed because of how your partner treats you or your children. Abusers often make excuses for their actions, blaming the victims and avoiding responsibility for what they do.
We want to reassure you, unambiguously, that abusers are solely responsibility for their actions – it is never your fault. We are here to support you and help you explore your options because you deserve a loving, healthy relationship where you feel safe, respected, supported, and values like freedom, happiness, and consent are centred.
Recognising domestic abuse
No two domestic abuse cases are exactly the same, however there are traits and behaviours that are common in abusive relationships. Recognising and being able to spot these factors can be an important first step in preventing and stopping abuse and can help you figure out if you, or someone you know, are in an abusive relationship.
These behaviours can be, be are not limited to:
Destructive criticism and name-calling: yelling, making fun of you, blaming you, calling you names, and making threats.
Pressure tactics: sulking, threatening to take away money, turning off your phone and internet, breaking or taking away your devices, taking away the car or the kids, saying they’ll report you to authorities unless you do what they want, threatening self-harm or suicide, pushing you to use drugs, lying to your friends and family about you, and saying you have no say in any decisions.
Disrespect: constantly putting you down in front of others, ignoring you, interrupting your phone calls, taking money from you without permission, and refusing to help with the kids or household chores.
Breaking trust: lying to you, hiding things from you, being jealous, having relationships with others, and not keeping promises or agreements.
Isolation: monitoring or blocking your calls, emails, and social media, telling you where you can go, preventing you from seeing friends or family, and keeping you shut inside the house.
Harassment: following you around, checking up on you, invading your privacy (like opening your mail or going through your devices), constantly checking your phone, embarrassing you in public, and tagging along wherever you go.
Threats: making angry gestures, using their size to scare you, shouting at you, breaking your things, punching walls, threatening you with weapons, and making threats against you, your children, or pets.
Sexual violence: using force or threats to make you perform sexual acts, having sex with you when you don’t want to, forcing you to view inappropriate material, putting constant pressure on you for sex, and degrading you based on your sexual orientation.
Physical violence: hitting, slapping, biting, pinching, kicking, pulling your hair, pushing, shoving, burning, strangling, pinning you down, or holding you by the neck.
Denial: claiming the abuse isn’t real, blaming you for it, saying you provoke them, claiming they can’t control their anger, pretending to be gentle and patient in public, begging for forgiveness, and saying it won’t happen again.
Contact us
Talking to someone about how you feel can be the first step to getting the right support.
F.A.Q.
Frequently Asked Questions
Unfortunately, we are not an emergency service and are not available 24/7.
Always ring Greater Manchester Police on 999 if you’re in need of urgent help or are in danger.
Safe in Salford’s helpline & services are open Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.
You can use the contact form below at any time and we will respond to you during opening hours.
Yes, all correspondence, in-person or over email or phone, is treated as completely confidential.
We will only break confidentiality if we believe yourself and/or a child is at risk or in danger.
Yes, when contacting us, please tell us whether you would prefer to discuss your situtation face-to-face, and we will facilitate this for you.
Yes, simply fill out the contact form below, send an email to info@safeinsalford.org.uk or ring us on 0161 793 3232
Unfortunately, we can only support people who are living in Salford.
You can get help from local services, press the button below to access Women’s Aid’s Local Service finder
Yes, Safe in Salford offers support for children and young people affected by domestic abuse in their families helping them in forming positive, healthy relationships.
Support can also be offered to young people displaying harmful behaviour in their own relationships.
Supporting someone experiencing domestic abuse can be difficult and complicated, please click the button below to read our advice on supporting someone.
Yes, Safe in Salford also provides confidential, non-judgemental Perpetrator Support for those who recognise their abusive behaviour as a problem and want to work on developing healthy relationships.
The “Get Help Now” section of our website contains information and resources for learning more about domestic abuse, please click the button below view it.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be very risky, our support workers can advise you on how to approach this. You can also refer to Women’s Aid’s article on this by clicking the button below.
